Parkinson’s Disease: Two Perspectives, Part II

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I sometimes publish a “major” post about Parkinson’s disease, and then follow it with a 2nd post of jokes on the same topic.  For example, I wrote about constipation, and then followed up with poop jokes.  I create almost all of these jokes from scratch as part of my enriched environment initiative.

Here are some follow-up jokes to Parkinson’s Disease:  Two Perspectives.

Perspective 1

  • Q:  If you visit a graveyard late at night, how do you know who died from Parkinson’s disease?
  • A:  You can hear the bones rattling in the coffin from the persistent tremors.

 

  • Q:  If your house is haunted by ghosts, how do you know which ghost has Parkinson’s disease?
  • A:  Even though it’s a ghost, it drools like a zombie, confused.

 

  • Q:  What do you call it when a demagogue like George Wallace (the vicious, racist Governor of Alabama who famously shouted, “I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever!”), is incidentally diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, then dies and gets buried in a cemetery?
  • A:  Putting him in his place.

 

Perspective 2

The other day I was walking with a friend and she said, “I see that Parkinson’s disease has changed your gait.”

I replied, “It’s changed the gait but thankfully not the gay.”


Last night when I read a list of non-motor symptoms of Parkinson’s disease, I realized that for gay men one of the biggest fears would be to develop taste dysfunction.  Imagine:  Suddenly gay guys would be wearing socks with sandals and showing up at their grandmother’s funeral in capris pants, halter tops and tacky plastic earrings.


Every time I visit my neurologist she asks me the same series of questions.  For example, “Have you been experiencing hallucinations?”  Next time I see her, I’ll answer truthfully:  “Well, yes.  I must have been hallucinating when I heard Obama say he would shut down the POW camp at Guantanamo Bay.”


My neurologist also asked me if I’ve developed problems with impulse control, such as shopping obsessively and buying things that aren’t really necessary.  I answered truthfully that no, this is not an issue for me, but she should really schedule appointments with about half of all American adults during the Christmas shopping season.


Another non-motor symptom of Parkinson’s disease is punding, which is an excessive repetition of useless tasks.  Does paying taxes count?  I do this year after year, and still the roads have terrible potholes, the NIH is underfunded, and kids in rich neighborhoods have better public schools than do kids in poor communities.


My neurologist also asks me if I have difficulty swallowing.  I must say, I have difficulty swallowing my pride.

 

6 thoughts on “Parkinson’s Disease: Two Perspectives, Part II”

  1. This is interesting but Wallace recanted his racism before he died and apologized to black people and everyone else. I suppose it didn’t mean much then because of all the lives he had ruined along the way. Can the current troubles between police and black people be traced back to the blatant and vicious statements made by public officials such as Wallace? It is probably a continuous unbroken line of hand me down fear and prejudice.

  2. Let me amend the last line. ” It is probably a continuous unbroken line of hand me down fear, LOATHING and prejudice. “

  3. Are you gloating that Wallace was a Parkie? I’m Not sure about reacting that way even though he ruined many people ‘s future s.

  4. It’s a mistake to suggest that all law enforcement officers are racist. Or that mistakes are made because of racism. It happens sometimes but not all the time.

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